The wittiness of Brenda, the crankiness of Provenza and slyness of Commander Taylor; how each character has evolved through the seasons. All the Thank Yews Brenda doles out with sass and the IT and the everything expertise Tao spews without a thought. As a modern yet modest woman in a high-powered position, she kicks butts and takes no prisoners for what she does or believes.
I love the TNT hit The Closer; but, gosh really who doesn’t? I hadn’t watched the first couple seasons, it just didn’t seem like a show I was be interested in but Mom told me to give it a shot so when I did I was hooked. Yup, Mom was right. It just pulls you in; it has the suspense of a classic cop-and-robber show, and the comic relief of any prime-time comedy hit. You just can’t get enough of the mystery of the each new case and how Brenda will figure out who the killer is and how they did it. She never ceases to amaze me how her brain makes the leap from seeking out the perp to actually figuring it out…usually after some spoken phrase from another character.
I love that in the beginning of the show nobody liked Brenda, that Flynn practically spit on her and Taylor ousted her on her ethics charge and as a home wrecker. I love all of that because in the end everyone saw how amazing she is at her job and stopped giving her grief and let her do what she does best, catching bad guys. I also love that her character, for all her flaws, is one of the most modest in dress characters on TV. She never wears low-cut tops or too short skirts; she does show some skin in her slips but, with how much she is covered up throughout the rest of the shows it barely is noticeable. And most importantly, I love that she always has her big handbag and a pair of heels on. Yup, true lady-heels and bag! I also love that the cast wears the same color palate. Have you ever noticed that there is no standout clothes horse and they all match?
I really love Kyra Sedgwick. Not only has she been in a harsh business for more than 30 years, but she has not changed in the entire time. I don’t just mean as a person, but in her appearance and weight. With so many celebrities, young and older, being put through the paparazzi ringer, she has managed to not only stay the same but if possible become more beautiful. She has aged with grace, stayed the same slim and gorgeous women and doesn’t seem to put on airs like she is better than others. It is also wonderful to me that she and her husband, Kevin Bacon, have been married close to 24 years and it shows when you see them at awards shows that they are a great couple and truly love each other. Again, in that industry, they have proven it is possible to stay married through harsh times, i.e. losing an undisclosed amount of money to Bernie Madoff, and come out the other side stronger and happier.
I hate that The Closer is ending. I hate that the last two episodes of this great series is over in the next two weeks. I hate that I will not see this great drama, which has brought about a powerful woman character that doesn’t put up with anything and pulls emotions from me better than any other show on TV, is over and I won’t see anything new. I hate that my friends, Brenda and Fritz and the whole lot, will not be available for my entertainment anymore. I hate that I will not get to see what she will wear next, what she will do to the next murderer, or get to see how Chief Pope tries to screw her over. The good-bye to us all at the end of the series is going to be tough, but watching Kyra say good-bye was horrible. Tears people!
I also hate that with the last two-to-three seasons we have been dealing with Brenda’s gang trial and the leak in the department. I mean, who else hasn’t been clawing their eyes out trying to figure out who the leak is and about to go mad with wanting to know? Seriously, it can’t be just me and my mom, because we discuss it every Monday night after each show. And really, they are waiting to the last of the last minutes to fill us in. And now, Brenda’s amazingly forgiving mom died? Really? Holy goodness was I in horrible sobs with her! Brenda’s pain was so raw; it was like I had really lost her mom. For Kyra to pull that type of emotion from you is a true gift of acting. I had thought it was going to be her dad, since he had been having the bad reaction to the meds for his cancer. Man, talk about faking us all out.
I hate that nothing else on TV is as good as The Closer. There is nothing on TV, especially cop shows, that can or will replace The Closer cast. They have put such an amazing spin on sarcasm and hilarity that I can’t think of another show being so entertaining. The only other TV show on right now that I have stuck with from the beginning is the NBC hit Law and Order: SVU, and with Elliot leaving the show it just isn’t the same anymore. I still watch it and support it because I absolutely love Mariska Hargitay, but it really isn’t the same. I am not a fan of change and with TNT starting the new show Major Crimes I just don’t know how the show is going to do. It seems like they are leaving all the characters the same, but with Captain Radar as the lead female. I just don’t know how they are going to work, and not knowing what the finale is going to bring as the reason for Fritz being on the show on and not Brenda, I just don’t know. Ugh, I hate not knowing! I really hope it does the trick for us Closerites, because I will still need those characters in my life!
Planning your days right; getting the right amount of movement to toning ratios. Building your miles gradually over a dedicated period of time. Finding new plans to follow and see if they are cohesive, not only to where you are in time but also in the intensity you are putting out. Hurting feet, new shoes, new sports bras (very important!), specialty socks, gels and aids. All new things for a chick who didn’t know she really had it in her to do it, stick with it…and ROCK IT!
I loved training for my half marathon. It was the most amazing, exhilarating and the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I have traveled the world, quit jobs with nothing on the horizon, moved across the country with little more than a couple suitcases and knowing no one; however, putting money down on a half marathon was one of the more crazier things I have done. Especially crazy, since completing any type of running event had never been a goal or bucket-list item of mine. I didn’t really doubt myself at any point, just put one foot in front of the other and followed the training plan from Shape magazine-5 Weeks to a 5K- and added miles on after I completed the 5 weeks. It was difficult, but exactly what my wandering mind and bored body needed as a focus. Thank goodness I convinced my sister-in-law to do it with me and had her continued support!
I love reading magazines on the treadmill, or any workout machine, and had seen an ad for the Zooma Boutique Half Marathon in Shape magazine and thought that was the thing I needed to stop my workout ruts and give me the push to get out of my comfort zone (let alone the boutique part of the half). So I thought about it for a couple days then made the decision. Not only emailing my sil, but tearing out the ad and taping it onto my wall at work and telling everyone about it. I also kept the 5w25k guide at my desk and on the treadmill with me. Every day before I left work I would review it and then do the workout with the plan on the treadmill staring at me, and every morning I would highlight the workout I completed the day before. Nothing was going to hold me back. The hardest part for me was not having a strength training area on the plan. I love strength training, but pretty much gave it up during my half training, though I did try to get a weekly Pilates class in.
The half marathon I chose was in Austin, and I chose it because I wanted my sil to do it with me, and thought the easiest way to get her to do it was to do one near her. I knew Texas was called hill country but until we got to the Hyatt Regency Lost Pines and drove down and up and around their 3 mile driveway, I hadn’t realized what everyone was talking about! It was so surreal and terrifying just on the drive that we couldn’t stop talking about it the rest of the night! But come that next morning, nerves flying and stomach cramping, well I let it go and took off in the midst of all the other thinner, leaner and faster runners and just didn’t care about my flaws. All I kept telling people at work was that I am a Finisher Not A Winner. I didn’t care what my time was; I just wanted to cross that finish line. And I did! I did it! I am officially a half marathoner, and so proud of it!
I hate the after effects of my half marathon training and completion. I see pictures of runners and they are all lean, lithe and gorgeous. All little running skirts and half tops, miles of confidence; going for it with seemingly no cares or pains. Ha! I will say that I am none of those things, but I am a finisher so for that I am proud. In the beginning of my training I had read the book Run Your Butt Off, by Sarah Lorge Butler with Leslie Bonci and Budd Coates (editors of Runner’s World), and after reading it new something was a little wrong. I wasn’t losing weight like I thought I would, and that I am living proof that a very overweight person can run, and run long and hard. The book is great for an overweight person who knows they need to lose weight and needs to take that first step, but for an active runner/workouter didn’t do a whole lot for me. Good little tidbits of advice, and I did pass the book along so my sil could read it and get something out of it, but no weight loss at all for me… My butt was still their!
I hate that after the run the pains and other things started happening. About four days after finishing, the outside of my right thigh started to have serious pains; so bad that I could barely walk. I lived with a heating pad for a whole week and could not do any type of workout. It hurt to sit down and stand back up, hurt to the point of tears. Family told me it was my sciatic nerve, and like a dummy didn’t hit the doctor. Thankfully after a week it went away, and I warily got back on the treadmill and started walking. Also, after finishing I became a hypo-glycemic. Being a vegetarian, I had a very hard time figuring how to work in protein to every meal without adding loads of calories. Well, according to my doctor (yes, I did go see her, symptoms of hypoglycemia are nothing to mess around with) my body depleted my protein reserves and couldn’t repair what I put it through. Simply put, my body’s blood sugars were out of whack and the protein wasn’t processing and my blood sugar would drop severely. Having to recognize and monitor my body’s activity and symptoms has been really difficult, trying to figure out what I am feeling and really tracking what I am eating. Luckily with this, I have severely cut down on added sugars, and now things with sugar taste too sweet. Very nice side effect of lowering sugar intakes!
The worst, absolutely most horrible part of the completing the half is competing with my inner thoughts. My body has since repaired itself, and has no qualms with putting itself through abusive workouts. 90 minutes on the stair climber? No biggie. 40 minute treadmill walks then hour long strength class? Whatever. Try to make a run of it? WHAT?? Hah, says my head, better think again. Yup, my head and inner thoughts are what is now holding me back. Those evil little words, saying you’re too tired, you don’t have to, you completed a half marathon already, too tired or busy. All those words running through my head instead of my feet on the ground doing the running. It took over two months before I could get a mile run in at my normal 10 minute mile pace on the treadmill, about 2 ½ months to get two miles out. I am still stuck at the two mile part, and hadn’t realized that my head would be what is holding me back not my body.
Everyone has goals. Starting from when you are little-wanting to hit the ball with the bat, beating your sibling at their grades, getting goods scores on the SATs and graduating high school. Getting older they change into graduating college, getting a good job, getting married and having children. Then those goals warp into broader themes like losing weight or working out and seeing the world. How many of us actually set specific goals? Probably not many. Who really sets attainable goals like getting A job after college not specifically a good one or the perfect one? Or lose 10 pounds in a specific time period instead of 50 pounds in general? Or become a certified personal trainer instead of work out daily for two hours?
I love goals. I always have them somewhere inside me, thinking about them constantly. I think about what I need to do to get to my next stage in life. Easy goals like just going online to apply for jobs, making it to the gym whether it is before or after work it doesn’t matter. Making healthy lunches for the week on Sunday so I don’t go out everyday with coworkers and not only eat crappy but spend money that doesn’t need to go into Subways or Nugget Market’s deep pockets. I wear nice clothes and heels to work so I feel nice about myself instead of just jeans and t-shirts to hide what I think is wrong with me. I put money aside for future travel plans, instead of spending frivolously on things that are dispensable.
I love goals that show a change in my body. This goal is one that I know I have total control over. I have always had the “lose weight” goal that everyone has. Even after I had gastric bypass surgery I never was able to be totally okay with my body. I thank God for the surgery everyday because I could not see a way to have lost the excess weight without it. Now I can workout two to three hours at a time-and be sore afterwards but love that I could do it. I can run four miles on the treadmill, do a 5k monthly, I can do strength classes and boot camp classes at the gym daily, all because I lost 175 pounds. I love that the workout goal has toned my legs and I have a body part to be proud of. I can see real differences in myself post bypass that I would never have gotten without it, and can now set reasonable goals that are specific in nature so I don’t lose sight of what I desire.
I am proud of my current goal. I decided that for the new year and Lent, my goal is to train for a 1/2 marathon. For New Years and Lent I have been giving up food items, and been extremely great at not going back to whatever it was. Over the last three years I have been able to give up chocolate, soda, chips, Starbucks, white chocolate and yogurt covered foods and many other things. This New Years resolution I am giving up store bought cookies. But for Lent I decided that instead of giving things up, I am going to do something that will inherently help and change me. I was reading Shape magazine and saw a training plan for 5 Weeks to a 5k. I already do monthly 5k’s so I just glanced at it, but at the bottom was what to add to do a 10k and 1/2 marathon. That was it for me, my decision was made and my buddy was texted. I am one week into it and my legs are not sore yet and I am not putting in as much gym time but the effort and difficulty is just as great. I can’t wait until I have logged more then four miles at one time. I can already see myself at the “end” line of the treadmill with my arms pumping in the air, proud of what I have just done.
I hate when I don’t achieve my goals. The one goal I have always had, besides weight loss, is to find the perfect job. I am a job searcher, I guess you could call it dreamer, at heart. No job has ever been “it” for me. I always find whatever it is I do boring, to easy, not fun and just plain not full-filling. I always think that there is something bigger and better out there. I even moved across the country to find the excitement, and found a job that was pretty much the same thing I was doing back home, but at least I got travel out of it (my one great passion). The bad thing about job searching is that it is not about me. It is not about the applicant, since it is out of your hands after hitting the apply button. I am constantly searching for new jobs, but it is getting harder with so many people out of work that have degrees…which leads to the other goal that I is always in the forefront of my head. A degree, totally attainable, ever out of reach.
I hate achieving goals alone. So many people are in it with you-whether it be on the side lines or actually next to you helping you. I hate when I have to do it by myself though. I just can’t seem to get it together, or at least hold it together by myself. Having a buddy that is supportive, doing the same workout and putting in the same effort as you and who is eating healthfully along with you is so important you just don’t realize until you move away and they aren’t by your side anymore. I moved away from the person who helped me get past-not just get past but beat it down!-my plateau, but since then the weight has crept back on and filled back in the skin that had let it go. My body likes to workout, that is not my problem. Putting in effort at the gym is not my problem. I need someone who is eating cleanly, healthfully and pretty much the same as me to get my eating under control. Being around people who are open to vegetarianism and like clean eating and don’t mind giving up the crap is not just helpful it is necessary to your well being.
My goals normally consume me. Not always a bad thing, but when the goals are not set clearly or aren’t really attainable, that is not healthy. My broad weight loss goals consume me. I wake up every morning and if the scale has decided not to befriend me, it will eat at me the rest of the day. I will punish myself for the gain at the gym, but then sabotage myself by eating something I don’t even really want nor need at all. I will think about my workout goals all day, between entering time & attendance and bill paying at work. My goals of giving up food items will be in the back of my mind all during the difficult times of the day, particularly when they are brought in by staff. Donuts and cookies on the reception counter, chocolate cake or fudge as freebies at the market, Starbucks literally on every corner. But the goals that consume me are the few that are not achieved. Maybe not necessarily achieved-because in reality I have made every one, by losing weight and hitting the gym, and having a job, and I have seen the world-but not seeing the positive in every small goal that I have obtained-that is my real downfall.
I am a person who can go for hours, but also someone who can sit in front of the t.v. and be perfectly fine watching great shows or spacing out to nothing in particular. I can hit the gym running and do a half hour on the treadmill then an hour Zumba class, and then an hour Group Strength Training class. I always feel great when I am done, sore but great, and then I do so much after cause I am in a great mood about myself. Then other times, I just can’t seem to make it to the gym no matter what I tell myself, or how much I remind myself how great I will feel.I love having energy.
I love that feeling when you wake up in the morning like you know what you have to do for the day and then you just get up and do it. It is nice for once in my life to have the feeling of accomplishment, of doing things that I would never have done before, or of actually getting normal things done in a timely manner and not getting tired out. I have energy out the wazoo, hitting the gym in the am, then shopping all day and trying clothes on while I am out. Being able to do things during the day without getting worn out, or feeling like taking a nap later in the day because you were to active.
I love being able to go to the gym. I normally get up at 4:30am to hit the gym and get it out of the way for the day. I get up feeling proud, I get to the gym with energy to spare and hit the treadmill…well not running, but I bump up the incline to 10 and go at 4.0 for an hour. Then because I am an over achiever in the gym, depending on the day, I do a 30 minute Spin class, an hour GST class, Zumba, or a Boot Camp class. Let me tell you, I feel it later it in the day like I over-did it, but I feel so proud of myself that I go to work and share everything I did. I find it impressive that I have the energy and will-power to do it, cause you know a few years ago I would have laughed in someones face if they told me to get up at 4:30am let alone do the treadmill at 4.0.
I love that I can workout for two-three hours straight and not feel tired. That I have trained myself to go for it and not look back. When I don’t, and just do an hour on the treadmill, I feel guilty because I know I have more in me. I know that I can do what others can’t or don’t think I am capable of. I know what strength is now and love it. I love pushing through the hard stuff, knowing that the gained energy from working out and being an active person is what gets a person through the hard stuff. Being able to look through and see the other side, going to the gym and leaving whatever is bothering you on the treadmill or in the group workout room, because you now have the capacity to “see” clearly.
I hate feeling worn out. I can do so much, but then not want to do anything. I can hit that gym for three hours, but then it’s like BAM. I tapped out and all I want to do is lay down stare unseeing at the television. Feeling worn out cause I thought I had the energy to bust it out-I like that I have muscles and the treadmill has helped immensely with lifting my butt-but, I then have to live with the worn-out muscles and tired head. So drained of energy from pushing as hard as I could, that I can’t seem to do anything I felt like doing before the gym. Not being able to go to the store to get groceries, to Target to look at the new dresses in the Merona section or even to get a pedicure at the nail salon across from the gym.
I hate not even having the energy on the weekends to get up and even head to the gym. I have high plans all day Friday, about what I will do at the gym, think about the teachers I will see and hope that no subs step in. I think about what I will do when the classes are over-groceries, Target, pedicure, sitting in Barnes & Noble-but, when I wake up in the morning I can’t seem to do more then turn on the t.v. in bed and lay there. I feel so guilty about being worn out and tired that I lay there and think about everything I could and should be doing, but can’t do more then lay there. I think about all the calories I should have burned and then feel bad about that and what do I do? Eat. Think about everything I should not be eating and feel guilty about that. Yuck.
I hate that after a day at work i cant even make it to the gym. I went through a faze where I wasn’t getting up early in the morning before work to hit the gym. I was worn out and so tired it was unbelievable, that just sleeping one extra hour in the morning made such a difference. I don’t know why but sitting through a day of work, being bored or busy it didn’t matter, but I just couldn’t find the strength to do more then drive home and blindly watch t.v. I had no energy to even read. It was crazy. I felt like the laziest person because I couldn’t even steer my car a mile out of the way. I would think about the gym, again day-dreaming of what I will do and which class I would stay for, but after my very long day I could do nothing. And if I did happen to make it to the gym, I would feel great when I was done and so proud of myself, but the next day I did nothing. Very frustrating that to get in a great workout I have to wake up at 4:30am to do it!
I love the Golden Globes, and I love the Golden Globe fashions. I love the Globes because it is a precursor to the SAGs and the Oscars, but I love this one because you get to see all your stars in one place-tv and movie. I love it. I also love that the stars think about their dresses in a sense of setting the style session for the year. The classier the better, you know I am not kind to the inappropriate ones. A lot of stars did good this year but an amazing amount messed up.
Let me start with how much I loved Natalie Portman’s dress by Viktor and Rolf. Being pregnant, she said, she actually got to wear a dress she wanted-a flowing one. Well she got one of my nights winning awards in her pale pink one-shoulder flowing gown with a printed flower screened very simply across it. My second winner was Catherine Zeta-Jones. This woman is absolutely gorgeous with her dark hair and olive skin-all she needed was an emerald-green dress by Monique Lhuillier. This dress was an immaculate choice for her with the fitted bodess and flowing bustle style skirt. Wow. And her awesome husband, Michael Douglas, looked healthy and happy as her date.
I of course had other dress loves for the night. One was Eva Longoria in Zac Posen. She looked gorgeous as always in a black floor length gown with a cut-out in the back. Tina Fey looked great this year in a black v-neck gown with ruffles around the arms-I know it sounds weird and oddly warrior-like, but it actually was quite beautiful. Sofia Vergara was amazing in her sexy red Vera Wang gown. This dress is one that I could see on every body type, which is wonderful to see a dress on a red carpet that is more real then dreamlike.
Another couple I loved were Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Okay, it is hard for Brad not to look good in a tux, I mean any guy looks good in black and a bow tie. Then there is Angelina. It would take a lot for this woman to not hit a home run lately and she did not miss the hit this time. She looked exquisite in her sparkly bright emerald-green, boat-neck (boat-neck people, very modest for a starlet) gown and it even had long sleeves. Versace was doing good this year. I also loved that Robert Downey Jr wore a gray suit with a red tie. He is so cooky that he can pull that off at an award show.
Two dresses that are very hit or miss with me were Nicole Kidman’s Prada gown and Anne Hathaway’s Armani gown. Both dresses were on the simple side. Nicole’s dress was the palest yellow, you looked at it and kind of thought it was just her skin color it was so pale. It was a one shoulder with a bow at the waist for a belt type look. The only color you can see on it was the blue and teal pendant at the shoulder. Anne’s dress was really bold with the shoulder pads and the disc type sequins in a blush brown color. I love it, I think. I know I love it cause I love most everything she wears. Both women won with the easy hair styles and not loaded up with jewels, leaving us to look at the dresses.
Okay. I hate over the top outfits. Really that is what one dress was. It was nowhere near being appropriate for anything other than the circus. Who thinks it is appropriate-and I understand personal expression and having fun with fashion. But please do not think this was a great choice. Helena Bonham Carter really does know how to pick loser outfits. She has done it before in almost every public outing, so I should not have been surprised. But, alas, I was. She wore a weird Vivienne Westwood black and floral dress, that had a netting-poof on the hip…yes, I said netting. It also had a lightening bolt going up the boob towards her head. And no, that and her horrible hair weren’t even the worst parts. Her shoes. She wore one green and one red heel. Oh man.
Well after that really big hate, I really can only dislike the others dresses I can’t stand. And I really did hate this one, though. What was Scarlett Johansson thinking? I mean, did she really have to steal Betty Whites dress from Golden Girls? You know the one I mean. The episode where Rose, Dorothy and Blanche enter the dancing contest and Rose does that mega dancing scene? It is so that dress! The pink sequins and kimono sleeves anyone? And goodness, her hair. I get that she likes the retro look, but can you comb it first? Wow, Elie Saab really missed the mark, need I say more?
A few that were weird. Green and hot pink were the colors of the night-the greens done beautifully, and the pink hmm. It is just a weird color to choose for a red carpet dress. Claire Danes had a color miss. Claire wore a halter style gown from Calvin Klein Collection. Now it is a minimal style gown, which is good but the color is so bright, it takes away from her coloring. I think it totally washed her out.
I will leave you with a list of a few others I just didn’t approve of. Amy Adams won the award for weird bow placement. Why add accessories to a dress that was otherwise amazing? The added froufrouness, on the shoulder and hip. The navy dress was a perfect color for her skin and hair types. Julianne Moore, she just always misses the mark for me. She wore a one-shoulder gown by Lanvin in a cherry red. The color suited her but the arm on the dress looked like it was tacked down to her hip. I don’t know. The last was Olivia Wilde. When I saw her I immediately thought prom dress. Who wears prom dresses to red carpet events. Now, I know the dresses are just glorified-expensive-prom dresses but really. This was one. It was a chocolate brown that was seriously bejeweled. She styled it with a pair of yellow stilleto booties.
We have all made them. The all time favorites are losing weight, starting a diet or just cutting calories, going to the gym daily…you name it and I have promised it to myself. Some other favorites? Stop eating any and all junk food, no more alcohol, become a vegetarian. Non-health related? Well the all time number one for all of us is do not spend so much money. A few new resolutions I have heard lately are to eat greener and to have become more green.
I love New Year’s resolutions. There is just something about promising yourself that this is the year you are going to get healthy, lose weight, to actually use the gym membership you have made high monthly payments to, find a new and or better job, dump the loser partner, stop smoking, get a life or just plain enjoy the one you have. The fact that we recognize that there are things in our lives that need changing and that the New Year presents a new beginning makes it so hopeful and like it is just finally time. Time to get on track with who you know you are, who you want to be and who you just plain deserve to be. We don’t let others hold us back and the New Year presents a way for us to stop holding ourselves back.
I love having a resolution partner. It is hard enough to stick to what you are doing by yourself, but if you have a partner - someone to hold you accountable and tell you to just get up and do it or stop shoveling the chocolate in your face-it just seems a whole lot easier to handle. I am perfectly fine disappointing myself, but if I feel I have let someone down or disappointed them, well I am harder on myself and won’t let it go. When you have a partner that knows how to push you and keep whatever it is you gave up or started for the New Year interesting and fun to do, there is no stopping either of you. It is all about inspiring and if you can find the person, even a long distance partner, who does that is enormous.
I love that most of my resolutions in the past couple years I have been able to keep. A lot of help for this came from my sister-in-law. She wanted the same things health wise as I do, so it made it a ton easier and I treated her like I was Jillian-fun for me not so much for her. But her knowledge about training for the PT tests from the military and her positivity came in so handy for the both of us. She read Bob Greene’s The Best Life book, and that set the course last January for a four-month weight loss record for both of us and kept us on the training track after I moved away. We both fell off the wagon at different times, but thankfully after a Christmas get together that we both desperately needed, we are on the same track and both feel great about it. Having each other to pick up off the floor, to get in the last workout after a rough day and her to get me to believe I could actually run a mile was amazing.
I hate not sticking to the resolution. In the last few years I may have been able to stick with what I have said but I have had plenty of resolutions that fell by the wayside as I tromped over them to get to the nearest Mtn Dew, Kit Kat and Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino. I always seem to make resolutions that seem so unattainable that it is okay that I gave up on them, even if I gave up after just a couple of days. Lose one hundred pounds in a year-I couldn’t even lose five pounds in a month because my head wasn’t in the right place to do it. Get a new job. Well can’t do that if you haven’t even written a resume. Join a gym-well I did, but always felt too fat to go. Stop spending money. Ha, I just justified it by putting it on my credit card instead of using my debit card. Excuses, excuses, excuses.
I hate that after drinking Slim-Fast and eating a Lean Cuisine I almost gained back all I lost. My sister-in-laws New Years day tradition-which I love, it is so fun to find cool things to eat that day-of eating foods that have fun names gave me a great start to the new year. I drank a Slim-Fast, ate a Lean Cuisine, had Laffy Taffy and a Payday. The Slim-Fast and Lean Cuisine were to ensure I lost weight during the year-I did, and then moved away to get a job (the Pay Day helped) and everything went downhill so fast that there was almost no stopping the train wreck. Thankfully the Laffy Taffy, so I would have a fun-filled year, saved me from myself. Even having a resolution partner can’t stop the downward spiral of unhappiness. Sometimes it takes hitting bottom to see the light.
I hate that my resolutions always revolve around the same thing. I wish I could say that I would be better off making a resolution that didn’t revolve around my weight or losing weight or working out. But I couldn’t-not and stick with it. I am so caught up right now with weight loss I can’t put any focus into anything else. I would love to be able to do something unrelated to hitting the gym twice a day, but that would require me to get a life…what I should really be making a pledge to do. That to me is too scary and I would rather stick with what I know I can do. I know that my resolution for this year of giving up all chocolate is easier than making a promise to get out more or put myself out there more.