I Love To Go, Go, Go…I Hate Feeling Worn Out

I am a person who can go for hours, but also someone who can sit in front of the t.v. and be perfectly fine watching great shows or spacing out to nothing in particular. I can hit the gym running and do a half hour on the treadmill then an hour Zumba class, and then an hour Group Strength Training class. I always feel great when I am done, sore but great, and then I do so much after cause I am in a great mood about myself. Then other times, I just can’t seem to make it to the gym no matter what I tell myself, or how much I remind myself how great I will feel.I love having energy.        I love that feeling when you wake up in the morning like you know what you have to do for the day and then you just get up and do it. It is nice for once in my life to have the feeling of accomplishment, of doing things that I would never have done before, or of actually getting normal things done in a timely manner and not getting tired out. I have energy out the wazoo, hitting the gym in the am, then shopping all day and trying clothes on while I am out. Being able to do things during the day without getting worn out, or feeling like taking a nap later in the day because you were to active.      I love being able to go to the gym. I normally get up at 4:30am to hit the gym and get it out of the way for the day. I get up feeling proud, I get to the gym with energy to spare and hit the treadmill…well not running, but I bump up the incline to 10 and go at 4.0 for an hour. Then because I am an over achiever in the gym, depending on the day, I do a 30 minute Spin class, an hour GST class, Zumba, or a Boot Camp class. Let me tell you, I feel it later it in the day like I over-did it, but I feel so proud of myself that I go to work and share everything I did. I find it impressive that I have the energy and will-power to do it, cause you know a few years ago I would have laughed in someones face if they told me to get up at 4:30am let alone do the treadmill at 4.0.      I love that I can workout for two-three hours straight and not feel tired. That I have trained myself to go for it and not look back. When I don’t, and just do an hour on the treadmill, I feel guilty because I know I have more in me. I know that I can do what others can’t or don’t think I am capable of. I know what strength is now and love it. I love pushing through the hard stuff, knowing that the gained energy from working out and being an active person is what gets a person through the hard stuff. Being able to look through and see the other side, going to the gym and leaving whatever is bothering you on the treadmill or in the group workout room, because you now have the capacity to “see” clearly. I hate feeling worn out. I can do so much, but then not want to do anything. I can hit that gym for three hours, but then it’s like BAM. I tapped out and all I want to do is lay down stare unseeing at the television. Feeling worn out cause I thought I had the energy to bust it out-I like that I have muscles and the treadmill has helped immensely with lifting my butt-but, I then have to live with the worn-out muscles and tired head. So drained of energy from pushing as hard as I could, that I can’t seem to do anything I felt like doing before the gym. Not being able to go to the store to get groceries, to Target to look at the new dresses in the Merona section or even to get a pedicure at the nail salon across from the gym. I hate not even having the energy on the weekends to get up and even head to the gym. I have high plans all day Friday, about what I will do at the gym, think about the teachers I will see and hope that no subs step in. I think about what I will do when the classes are over-groceries, Target, pedicure, sitting in Barnes & Noble-but, when I wake up in the morning I can’t seem to do more then turn on the t.v. in bed and lay there. I feel so guilty about being worn out and tired that I lay there and think about everything I could and should be doing, but can’t do more then lay there. I think about all the calories I should have burned and then feel bad about that and what do I do? Eat. Think about everything I should not be eating and feel guilty about that. Yuck. I hate that after a day at work i cant even make it to the gym. I went through a faze where I wasn’t getting up early in the morning before work to hit the gym. I was worn out and so tired it was unbelievable, that just sleeping one extra hour in the morning made such a difference. I don’t know why but sitting through a day of work, being bored or busy it didn’t matter, but I just couldn’t find the strength to do more then drive home and blindly watch t.v. I had no energy to even read. It was crazy. I felt like the laziest person because I couldn’t even steer my car a mile out of the way. I would think about the gym, again day-dreaming of what I will do and which class I would stay for, but after my very long day I could do nothing. And if I did happen to make it to the gym, I would feel great when I was done and so proud of myself, but the next day I did nothing. Very frustrating that to get in a great workout I have to wake up at 4:30am to do it!

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