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I Loved Being a Bridesmaid…I Hated the Bickering Bridesmaids

July 12, 2010

Carrying colorful flowers; walking up an aisle as guests wait to see the beautiful bride; watching the groom as his intended walks toward him on the arm of her father. Seeing the love form and complete as the priest/pastor swears over the ”I do’s”. Looking through our tears as we walk back down the aisle, ready to watch their lives unfold. 

I loved being a bridesmaid, though being the bride wouldn’t be so horrible either. Getting to be the one to make the actual decisions is right up my alley. I have only been a bridesmaid twice, so I haven’t gotten too jaded on the whole thing, but being the bridesmaid was fun. Getting to help make decisions on jewelry and shoes-and boy was my cousin indecisive on it. My first bridesmaid experience was my sister-in-law, Stacy’s, and she just told us to wear black and that was it. My cousin, Joanna, who was just married on July 3rd? Not so much-the color of the shoe either had to match perfectly or it wasn’t a contender. Jewelry was the diamond look only no pearls. Kind of hard to find everything to perfectly match since pearls was seriously in this season. 



I loved being there to help the bride get ready. I came two months early to Sacramento to aid the bride getting ready physically for the big day, as well as, helping to get everything together. Boy did I work her out, and did she work my temper. Seriously, I was hoping for daily workouts and for her to be up and at ‘em every Saturday for weigh-in and measuring. She ended up with a bad flu bug two weeks in, and flaked on the gym when she had bad days at work or had too much wedding anxiety. BUT, 13 inches and about 5 pounds lost thank you very much. Just call me Jillian, because I sure was channeling her. 

I loved doing the fun stuff on the actual wedding day. It was so much fun being there while Joanna got her hair curled, and doing last-minute table arranging and getting her into her dress, her corset and Spanx on-word to the wise, those suckers are tough to pull up. The best part was watching her mom shave her arm pits while getting laced up into her dress, because she forgot to do it in the shower. I loved having my hair and make-up done; all the hair was done by Joanna’s brothers girlfriend, and the make-up done by our cousin. They both did so awesome, and our cousin did all our make-up while breastfeeding her two-month old. I tell you, mothers never cease to amaze me in their multi tasking abilities. 

I hated all the bickering bridesmaids. Not all of us bickered, a couple kept their opinions to themselves and let the bride do as she pleased and choose what she wanted. Then there were those of us who had opinions that we didn’t know how to keep to ourselves. I thought I did very good keeping my mouth shut, only to find out after the fact that I was giving off bad vibes and the bride and her mom both thought me and one of the other bridesmaids were going to go head-to-head. Alas, no we didn’t…doesn’t me we shouldn’t have though. 

I hated that there were so many opinions, and not enough decisions. One would think that it was rocket science choosing shoes to go with bridesmaid dresses. My bride cousin would not let us choose shoes that were not the exact shade of watermelon as our dresses, and she was very indecisive about the type of shoes we could wear. She got married in a beautiful meadow, but a meadow means flats not heels. It took all the way up until five days before the wedding to get the shoes and the color correct. And the jewelry? Sheesh, we were all set with earrings that matched the wedding colors perfectly when the bride texted a picture of them to the other ‘maids-one texted back and said she didn’t like any of the choices. Really? Keep it to yourself if you aren’t going to make the effort to show up and help. 

I surely didn’t envy Joanna putting up with all our opinions and everyone being last-minute with everything. The poor bride is already stressed and having anxiety attacks, and then we all start getting all up about us. The wedding day wasn’t so horrible, I think we did good keeping quiet, but there was so much to do for a do-it yourself wedding that the stress got backed up in us. And the poor wedding coordinator-man, they are supposed to be mean and keep things moving and ours got a seriously bad rap. I told her she was doing a great job, even when the bride got loud and yelled for us all to shut up. They both needed to let the stress out-a yell and a cry-then they were both great and on we went to watch the magic unfold. 

Bickering and fighting and bad feelings aside, I would not miss this time with my cousin for anything. Being able to share the wedding process is not only fun, but you learn so much about a person. Thank you Joanna-and Stacy-for letting me see the process and have so much fun with the both of you on your beautiful and special day. And a big ole I am sorry to Joanna for having too many vocal opinions.

One Comment leave one →
  1. August 6, 2010 7:26 am

    I haven’t been to many weddings myself… I’m the person who never gets asked to go to one, so I really don’t know too much what they’re like. I’d never be offered being bridesmaid because I don’t have any girlfriends and to tell you the truth I’d probably elope myself. It’s just way too much stress, I’d have maybe 5 people go if I did have a ‘real’ wedding, and I’ve just never been big on them. It sounds like you had a good time though and it wasn’t too stressful!

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